


Of Spiders and Shadowhunters

by romewasbuiltonruins



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Demons, Enchanted microwaves, I'm bad at this, M/M, Magic, Shadowhunters who can kill anything but are terrified of spiders, Spiders, Warlocks, Why am I tagging this shit, come one Alec, don't ask just go with it, random tag, really - Freeform, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-10-10
Packaged: 2018-04-25 18:40:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4972006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romewasbuiltonruins/pseuds/romewasbuiltonruins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec Lightwood can kill anything even remotely demonic. Giant fanged monkey demon - no problem. Flying dragon demon that spits acid - can kill that too. Taking down an army of evil shadowhunters led by the homicidal brother of your friend - been there done that, and still alive.<br/>Spiders however are another matter entirely.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Spiders and Shadowhunters

**Author's Note:**

> Just a fun, short, one-shot inspired by Alec's fear of spiders. A fact that I find hilarious. This is set after the events of City of Heavenly Fire, meaning Magnus and Alec are back together and Alec has moved into his boyfriends flat. Enjoy... and thanks for reading.

Alec hated waking up alone, call it anxiety, stress, or whatever psychological mumbo jumbo you wanted but for him it was a fact of life. Now, he wouldn’t flip his shit and go cuckoo for coca puffs if he happened to wake up to an empty bed, the place where Magnus usually laid having gone cold hours before, but he certainly wouldn’t be content to just lounge around in bed all day like his boyfriend was prone to do at times.  


His anxiety probably stemmed from Jace and Izzy always climbing into his bed when they were younger; after a nightmare his younger siblings would somehow always find their way under his covers rather than seek out Robert and Mayrse. Wrapping themselves around him like a particularly affectionate pair of octopi. Not that either Jace or Izzy would ever admit to climbing into Alec’s bed if they were asked. Now, even years after they had begun sleeping in their own rooms again he still woke up anxious, wondering where the other person had gone. A feeling that only got worse once he moved into Magnus’s loft and started sharing a bed full time.

  


Normally, whenever Magnus wandered out of bed before Alec he could be found face down in a book in his study, having come up with some ridiculous idea in the night that just couldn’t wait until morning for the research to begin. Miraculously he never drooled on the century old tomes that lined the shelves of the cramp, dusty room. Alec was convinced it was a spell.

  


This particular morning though, his warlock was nowhere to be found. Everything was just as Magnus had left it last night, even Chairman Meow was still curled up on the couch where he’d gone to sulk after being expelled from the bedroom. Something about having a cat randomly jumping on you tended to ruin the mood, and so the fur ball had been relegated to the living room for the night. Anxiety set his pulse racing, his mind automatically going to the worst possible scenario. He was just fishing his cellphone out of the pocket of his jeans – which had somehow ended up on the ceiling fan – to call Izzy and get the search party started when he noticed the sticky note taped haphazardly to the fridge.

  


_Alexander, hope my absence hasn’t panicked you too badly. A very irate client showed up on our doorstep this morning ranting about a microwave he claims is possessed. More than likely he’s simply eaten something from Faerie but the man was very persuasive in pleading his case. I hope to be back before you wake up, but in the case that the possessed microwave proves more difficult than I thought you’ll have to entertain yourself._

~Magnus

Typical Magnus, he thought, already relaxing and allowing the death grip he had on his phone to loosen somewhat, running off after some ridiculous case. Though a possessed microwave would be a new one even for him, and Shadowhunters came across some weird shit. Sighing, Alec resigned himself to a morning of reality TV – the only thing that seemed to come on Magnus’s ridiculous magical television besides Project Runway and Gilligan’s Island.  
He grabbed a glass of orange juice and heated up a bagel in their thankfully possession free microwave before flopping onto the couch. Chairman Meow glared at him from the other end of the pink leather monstrosity and promptly fell asleep.

  


Three episodes of Dance Moms later he was ready to pull his hair out, how Magnus watched this shit he’d never know but he could feel his IQ level dropping. Flicking off the enchanted TV he grabbed one of the more obscure demon texts he’d been translating and settled in.  
He didn’t know how much time passed before he became aware of something moving just out of his line of sight. Closing the book, he looked until his eyes locked on the tiny, eight-legged hell spawn sitting innocently on the cushion next to him.

  
“Ah fuck!” he staggered to his feet and bolted across the room, hiding behind a suspiciously glowing potted plant he tried to find something to kill the damn spider with. Finally, he settled on a lethal looking black cylinder leaning against the sliding door that led to the balcony. Disregarding the little voice in the back of his head that tried to remind him about all of the weird magical artifacts Magnus kept around the loft he aimed the whatever-the-hell towards the couch.  


Chairman Meow hissed and jumped off, running and hiding under the breakfast bar in the kitchen where it was safer. The spider was moving now, creeping closer and closer across the hardwood floors. “Get the fuck away from me,” he spat, brandishing the thing like a sword. Of course he had to leave his weapons belt in the bedroom, of course.

  


“How the hell do you work this thing,” he shook the cylinder, waving it violently in the general direction of the spider.  
The spider that was no longer there. Fuckkkkkkkk, he was so dead. Looking around frantically Alec didn’t see the eight-legged thing anywhere. Where was Magnus when he needed him?

  


Finally he spotted the thing scuttling towards the kitchen, it was probably trying to hide from the crazy Shadowhunter waving a cylinder around and screaming. Cursing, he hit the object against the wall in a last attempt to get it to do something, anything. He would take a confetti cannon at this point if it meant killing the spider.

  


Something clicked and the room erupted into flames. Screaming even louder than before and flailing like an idiot Alec dropped the now scalding piece of metal and ran for the door. It didn’t take long for the flames – which were a strange green color – to climb the walls and start consuming the ceiling and furniture. He stopped just long enough to grab Chairman Meow – who promptly clawed him - and his phone before bolting out the door.

  


The whole building was on fire now, green flames climbing the outer walls and singing the adjacent buildings. People streamed out of their apartments and onto the street to watch the place go up in flames. Alec’s face was burning now, and not from the heat. He was just glad that Magnus wasn’t here to see this, though explaining why their building was now a blazing inferno to his boyfriend should be a piece of cake. Reaching up to pet Chairman – who had attached himself firmly to Alec’s head and seemed in no hurry to let go – he tried to focus on the fact that at least he’d killed the damn spider.

  


“Alexander,” he winced at the familiar voice behind him, turning Alec found himself in front of a very amused Magnus, cat eyes shining even brighter than usual in the light of the flames. His boyfriend was toting a microwave under one arm, a leash tied tightly around the door to keep the struggling appliance from spitting sparks and fire at the surrounding mundanes. “Should I even ask as to why my building is on fire?”

  


“There was a spider,” was all Alec could get out before Magnus lost what little composure he had and collapsed into a laughing fit.

  


“Only you, my darling Shadowhunter, would burn down an entire building just to kill a spider,” he said after he could get a breath again. Alec couldn’t help but smile at the absurdity of the situation, and before he realized it he had yanked Magnus down for a kiss.

  


Needless to say their neighbors got quite the show before they broke apart, both men panting with pupils blown wide with the beginnings of lust, but before they could finish their little morning encounter Magnus had a building to fix and a microwave to tame. So much for a relaxing morning.


End file.
